INSEAD MBA - One year will change your life forever

Marketing

1. The professor's (he's from Korea) first part of his name means 'bright' and the last part means 'helpful'; this should be a good class then :)

2. Prof: "with product innovations you don't want to listen to people that continuously complain"
student: "... French people?"

Management Accounting

Prof: If you really haven't prepared the case, don't tell me but just try to bullshit me"

Finance 2

This class is absolutely hilarious (also very good by the way). If I really write down all the funny stuff that comes by I wouldn't be able to do anything else in class. So here are a few that I did write down.

1. Prof: "The deadweight loss to society: the legal profession"

2. Prof: "If I shop, I do that in my underwear so people can see I cannot steal anything and give me discounts"

3. Student says something about 'corporate social responsibility'
Prof (interrupts the student when he hears those words): "Ooooi...... bad word"
Prof (later): "If you go to a barber, what do you want the haircutter to do? Cut your hair or maximize social responsibility?"

4. Professors explains that if you are punished in advanced because people expect you to sin, the best option is to actually sin.
Prof: "Each time I come home at 5am, my wife beats me up; happens to me all the time. So what should I do? .... sin"

5. Prof: "Never exercise an option before maturity. So don't get married to fast...... unless the underlying asset is decreasing in value."

6. Prof: "I'm sure it's not social responsible. But frankly, I don't give a damn."

7. Prof: "The fundamental purpose of life is to spend money and consume"

8. Prof: "In Finance 1 you learned that you should always trust the market. Today I'm going to destroy that believe"
Student: "Why did we have Finance 1 then?"
Prof: "Well, you have to create jobs..."

9. Prof: "So who's going to solve your problems?"
Student (laughing): "social responsible investment banks"
Prof: "That's a contradictio in terminus, it's like social responsible mass murder"

10. Prof: "So, what happened in the eighties?"
Student: "Madonna?"
Prof: "Well, we ARE talking about a tender offer..."

11. Prof: "So I invested in this company (e-bay for porn). It's a great company if you want to get rid of your used whips and chains"


That's it for this time, but I'm sure there is a lot more to come :)